I finally get it now, what my photography is to me. It's my art. That might seem obvious but it's my truest hobby, perhaps not my career path. I can't bring myself to shoot without inspiration or just for the sake of taking a photo. My expectations for the images I create are higher than those anyone else may have for me. My capabilities don't always match my expectations. I am intimidated by the work I've done in the past and I often feel pressured to create an image that has the same effect as those past, from a viewers standpoint. So as to please my audience. But truthfully, some of my favorite images are photos that majority overlooks. Commercial work might get my name out, working with new people often might help word of mouth but I really only want to shoot my inspirations. I'm constantly inspired. Trouble is, I lack the resources I often desire to create my vision. Be it the proper face which conveys the proper mood or attitude, the proper weather or setting and most certainly, the proper equipment.
Confession: I shoot with a Canon Rebel XTi and the kit lens that came with it. I don't have fancy lenses. The manual for my studio lights is in chinese and half my modeling lamps are burnt out. My process is less than ideal but it does what I need it to do most of the time. Nearly everything you see in my portfolio was done with this equipment.
Visiting home in MI this past November, I was reminded again of my process, the flow in which I create. Meeting up with Jenni Lee; my forever muse and dear friend Leah to collaborate and play was refreshing! I love when we can come together, throw out ideas and experiment to create spontaneous magic. The images you see in this post were the results of that rendezvous. I hate viewing my photography as an obligation or work. I want to create. I want to make a call, send a text or FB message and have someone come by, just to mess around and see what genius is born. I'd love to pack the car full of miscellaneous accoutrements, scoop up a fancy face and drive around until I'm struck by that familiar creative lightning. No expectations, just the joy of creation.
What I love about my art, about photography, isn't the superficial pretty things. I don't do it for the sake of feeling cool with a camera in my hands or getting to know a lot of attractive people. My love of photography is really a love of light and color, sometimes the absence of color, of lines and curves, of negative vs positive space, of movement and of emotion.